Try, Try Again

After traveling and researching abroad for 5 weeks this summer and 3 and a half months this fall, I am finally back Stateside and no longer have the lifestyle of a vagabond. Although I am content with being back at home and establishing fixed daily routines again, however, it has had its challenges, particularly in the fitness department. For during my sojourn in China, I ate countless dishes of delicious cuisine from all over the country. Although I walked quite a bit, it was not enough, and I ended up both gaining weight and becoming a bit out of shape.

One of many delicious meals – here I am eating a lamb kebab and noodles that are halal, made by one of China’s ethnic minority groups that is predominantly Muslim. Worth the weight gain? Possibly.

“Surely,” I said to myself, “I can pick up right where I left off.” Before this summer, I was able to run 3-4 miles with relative ease, even when I was not working out intensely. However, after several weeks back in the US and running at least 4 times a week, I am still struggling with doing sub-10 minute miles on a 3 mile run. When I think back to my high school cross-country days, when I could do 3 miles in under 20 minutes, I  am tempted to grow even more despondent.

Well, perhaps I will never be as fast as I was in high school – my training will not likely ever be so intense again, and I am not 16 anymore. But at the end of the day, that is alright – I need not compare my current state to my teenage self. All I can be is my best for today. Instead of berating myself after a workout where I was “too slow” or “too out of shape,” I can be proud of myself for taking the time to take care of my body. Same goes for nutrition. One step at a time towards a fitter, healthier self.

Fitness levels to return to – me 3 years ago, racing an 8K.

For I absolutely still have fitness and health goals. Yes, to generally get more “in shape,” but I find that concrete goals are more helpful in orienting myself.  I am hoping to do a triathlon this summer (I was also a competitive swimmer in high school) and also hope to work my way back up to a half-marathon. As I slowly work my way back to optimal physical fitness, I remember my goals. I am still exploring workout options (free ones – I’m on a budget!) and ways to eat healthier. And if I fail? If I miss that workout, or eat too much chocolate one day? That’s okay – I am not a machine and am allowed lapses. All I can do is get up the next morning and try, try again.

Lastly, there is no need to compare myself to all of the women who pose in meticulously filtered and edited fitness photos on Instagram and other social media. There is a new ideal body type for women that work out – “strong is the new sexy” – although in photos accompanying this caption, “strong” looks suspiciously like “skinny with muscles.” For women with this body type who are committed to bettering their bodies and minds, that is awesome. But there is no need for me to compare myself to them (or them to me) – every body type is beautiful.

Do any of you share these struggles on overly comparing your fitness progress to that of others or to your past self? I would love to hear your thoughts!